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So hard to explain………

June 18, 2010

I have been really grappling with how to share my transition back to America. It’s hard to explain. Sometimes I am truly paralyzed at the thought of doing it all justice which means that I have not been putting fingers to keyboard very much and I am afraid that some of it is going to slip away from my memory.

At least ten times a day, I look around and think (sometimes to myself and sometimes to any poor soul standing near me) that America is exactly the opposite of India. And I really, really mean that. It is exactly the opposite! And that does not mean bad or good – just so extremely different that I know my words would have a hard time describing it accurately.

This morning at Walmart was no exception. Just walking into Walmart is a little bit overwhelming. Heck, just getting to Walmart is different. I grab my car keys and I hop in the drivers seat and I drive myself there. No waiting for Rajinder to fill his water bottle. No giving a list to Francis and Rani for what I want. No asking Ravi if he needs anything. No trying to translate what he actually asks for. No waiting for the guard to unlock/open the gate. And certainly no wondering if I will be able to find what I need. Just me, myself, and I hop in the car.

I control the radio – hey, I listen to the radio. I decide which route to take. This way or that way is up to me once more.  On the way to the store, I pass tons of green trees along roads where (nearly) everyone stays in their own lane (everyone except those dingbats who are texting and driving – seriously that needs to stop). No one honks their horn. People stop at red lights and use their blinkers. There are no wild cows or dogs on the road. In fact, people are walking dogs on leashes and they are fatter than they need to be – the dogs and many of the people. There are no children begging or doing tricks on the side of the road. There are no bicycles with 3 or even 4 people on them. There are no women on the backs of motorcycles with their dupattas (scarves) flowing dangerously close to the back tire. There are street signs (in English) absolutely everywhere. There are no people running to literally catch a bus that is so full of people that it already looks like it might explode.

I pull into Walmart’s abundant parking lot and I pick where I want to park. I don’t have to tip anyone to push another car out of the way to make room for me. I don’t have to ask Rajinder where I should meet him when I am done or explain how long I think it might take. A man greets me as I enter the store and I get a cart. Oh sweet shopping cart heaven. No one follows me through the store. No one asks me 25 times if I need help. Two people and two carts can easily pass each other on each aisle. And while I am shopping I can get a Subway sandwich (with meatballs and s.a.f.e. lettuce), order eyeglasses, fill a prescription, develop photos, and just about anything else I want to do.

I do have to push my own cart and pull my own items from the shelves. And it takes me so much longer because there is so much more to look at and so many more choices. But I only have to go to one store.

The reason I went to Walmart was to get clear trash bags for the recycling container. Once again, we are responsible for our own recycling. And we have two trash cans in the kitchen. One for regular trash and another for anything that can be recycled – paper, plastic, glass, and metal items. So I like clear bags for the recycling. That way we can tell which is which and the trash men know which bags have recycling in them. I also wanted small bags for cleaning out the cat litter.

Here again I am assaulted by choices. Upteen size and color options. I really just want trash bags but now I have to decide if I want white, flexwhite, green, black, clear, or slightly opaque. Do I want handles or ties or looped handles. Do I need 8 gallon, 15 gallon, 33 gallon, or yard bags. It takes me just a second to focus. But then I found the recycling bags I wanted.

Now onto the small trash bags. Holy trashbag batman – they come in colors – vanilla and mint green. Then, I realize – not just colors but scents. Huh? I fully understand that perfume was invented to cover up body odor – but we have moved away from that because it can really be a toxic combination. And as such, deodorant was invented. Perfume is much better on a bathed person and scents are much better for candles. And I know the makers of these cute little mint green 8 gallon bags with handles did not know that they would be used for litter – but the potential certainly existed that they would be used for something smelly. And not for nothing, who decided that 76 bags was the right number of bags. That must have been a fun meeting. And who lost out – the person who thought that 88 was just the right number?

So India is the land where not much of the trash finds its way into a bag and America is the land where trash bags are supposed to smell like a cupcake or a bowl of ice cream. I really don’t know if this makes sense to anyone who has not lived in both places – but honestly, that is just the tip of the iceberg. Everything is different, different.

And the the final irony is that I searched and searched for these small bags for our kitties poop only to be given about 15 bags of almighty plastic to hold all of the c-r-a-p that I bought at checkout. And they are the same, same size and they do not smell like cotton candy and they would work perfectly fine for holding cat litter. And I would be recycling if I just used those.

On to checking out. Even that is different. The woman in front of me was using coupons. Dang, I forgot about that. Note to self – get Sunday paper, cut out coupons, and remember to bring them to the store – then remember to use them at checkout.

Most transactions in India are in cash – so the debit card machine temporarily stunned me. Do I want cash back? It’s a simple question – but I forgot that it prompts you for that. I stand there waiting to be done – and the people behind me think I have dropped in from another planet – how can I possibly not know what to do here. Okay, okay. No, I don’t want cash – well, unless it is a door prize – but I am guessing that is not the case, so no, I don’t need cash back. But that is not the end of it. Do I want to contribute to a fundraiser for a children’s hospital? I can buy a paper balloon and write my name on it. I should not have to think about it – but wait a minute – what did you ask me? Oh, a charitable donation? Sure. How much? A dollar? Fine. And no thanks, I don’t need to write my name on the balloon. Besides, my hands are full because I am going to have to carry my own bags to the car and remember where I parked it.

13 Comments leave one →
  1. June 24, 2010 10:51 pm

    Well I haven’t heard back from my last email, but I guess one of my questions has been answered…

    “You’re back!!!” As I dodge the spray from sparklers and sidestep the fallout of fireworks that are probably going on as you celebrate being back in the United States (and just before the 4th!), I wonder if my first post after arriving in India will be almost the polar opposite of this post.

    Even though I’ll be in Mumbai, like I said before, if you are ever in the Chicago area you have a place to stay. Even though I won’t be there, my daughter would welcome you with open arms. AND if you ever want to visit Mumbai (I know. You’re totally laughing at that prospect) you’re welcome to stay with us.

    Thank you, my friend, for all of the help you have given me in the past…and for all the help I’ll pester you for in the future.


    P.S. Have you kissed the ground yet? And more importantly, are you not freaked out if someone touches you with their left hand?

    P.S.S How many meals of BEEF did you have since you got home?

    P.S.S.S. Kingfisher will be my friend.

  2. June 21, 2010 7:00 pm

    Have you had to clean your house, yet? I think that will definitely will be something I won’t look forward to doing. I realized the other day that it’s been six months since I have cleaned a bathroom – that’s crazy! But, it’s the reality of where I live, for now 🙂

    • June 21, 2010 9:56 pm

      yep – was cleaning me some toilets today – not my favorite thing to do at all! I got a little to used to that! 😎 But it’s funny. My house here was not cleaned for a long, long time and it remained cleaner than my house in Delhi that got cleaned everyday! yikes!

  3. Jennifer permalink
    June 21, 2010 3:10 pm

    I will be very interested to track your relocation adjustment. We came home right before the kick off to College Football Season (a holy time in our house and one that was extremely missed for 2 years). I found Dan standing in the beer isle, lost amongst his beloved microbrews. He was trying so hard to make the best choice. Eventually I had to tell him that it would be okay…he could pick out one for today…and come back and try a different one tomorrow…and the day after…and the day after. The period of crappy Kingfisher was gone. We lived in America-land now….where there are entire shelves in mega stores devoted to beer or to cereal or to whatever his heart wanted. It took us a while to really “snap out of it” and remember where we were and that we were not going back to India. Now, 9 months later Dan still is in awe of his beer isle (it can’t be helped…he’s in love) but the rest of the reverse India cultre shock is a distant memory. Most mornings I wake up and wonder if it was all just a dream!

    Welcome home!

    • June 21, 2010 9:55 pm

      Hey there! I was at Super Walmart today – holy shopping – it just keeps getting better and better! 😎 I hope you are doing well! It’s funny that you said “was it just a dream”? That might just be my next post – it does feel very dream-like and sometimes I wonder if it really happened or if that crazy tornado that snatched Dorothy caught me too! Hugs!

  4. Linda S permalink
    June 21, 2010 10:36 am

    I miss you too!
    When your visiting the US, you think of all the things you need to take back. But, when your back…yes, there are things that you will miss.

  5. Mrs. Expat permalink
    June 21, 2010 7:26 am

    Oh to be able to choose your trashbags!

  6. weihnachtsmann mieten permalink
    June 21, 2010 7:06 am

    That’s an amazing post. Thanks a lot

  7. ceci permalink
    June 20, 2010 6:04 pm

    Never been to India but I am already missing it.

  8. Stefanie permalink
    June 19, 2010 8:30 pm

    Keep it coming! It will be interesting to see how your habits have changed. Are you more aware of “being green”, are some of the things “you could not live without” not so important anymore…ect…

  9. Nancy permalink
    June 19, 2010 11:37 am

    Great to see you back on your blog. Little culture shock back in your own home-huh? Need to see you soon!

  10. June 18, 2010 1:09 pm

    Not sure whether to laugh or cry with you … the polar opposites ARE astounding!!

    Just write – don’t worry if you’re doing it justice. Just WRITE.

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