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I am it………….

April 30, 2009

When we were in the U.S., I used to love to sit on the front porch and watch my kids play games in the cul-de-sac. I loved hearing “not it” when the games began. Which was always followed by a game of bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish. No one wants to be “it”. But in the blog world, there is always a lovely game of tag going on. And, now I am “it”. This time was bizarre because I got tagged by a mom in India and by a mom in Ohio. Yes, bizarro. The world is indeed becoming smaller.

Monika from Life of Our Darling Prince tagged me first. Then Naomi from Delhi Bound got me too.

I am supposed to share the 5 things I love best about motherhood. Some days 5 whole things would be hard to dream up. It’s a tough job, the pay stinks, and it can break your heart. But most days, I would say “just 5”. That is simply not enough. I am amazed that I have been so blessed with my family. Truly, truly blessed.

But motherhood is always a balancing act. Here is my attempt to balance just 5.

1. I will never forget the day that Bear was born and how I felt when he was put in my arms. It was a long, exhausting day that ended up in an emergency c-section (which you can read about here) and he had a dislocatable hip. He needed to spend some time with the nurses. I had to wait what seemed like an eternity to even see him. I was very worried that something was wrong. Then I was wheeled away to recovery. I just kept thinking “where is my baby”? Finally, they put him in my arms and he was small and squishy and I was completely overwhelmed. I had not done a lot of babysitting and did not grow up with younger siblings in the house. My first thought was seriously, what the hell was I thinking and what the hell am I supposed to do with him? I was laying flat on the gurney and I could not really see him, I was straining my neck. Holy smokes. Then they got us in our room and I was allowed to sit up a bit and look at him. I was completely blown away by the love I felt for him. Someone I had never met, who had never spoken to me – he had not even smiled yet or gripped my fingers. And, I realized in that moment just how much my parents loved me. It was amazing to feel their love through my own child.

And, yes, I knew that my parents loved me very much. I simply had no idea how much they loved me. The potential of their love surrounded me that night.

2. My children are the reason I was willing to move to India. I lived in Germany in 5th and 6th grade and I know it changed my life. I wanted to give them this experience to learn about the world. I love watching them here. They would rather be in the U.S., but they are taking advantage of this adventure fully. They are trying new things – even some new foods – and they are soaking it all in. I love that they have roots and that they are sprouting wings.

I am amazed at how willing they are to try new things and how they have learned to be proud of themselves even if they do not win. And, yet, they try their best to win. Still, they have learned to appreciate the journey. That is truly a gift. And it one of the things that makes me most proud of them. They know the difference between disappointment and devastation and they simply will not give up.

3. I love hosting sleepovers for my kids and their friends. Usually we have about 20 something kids spend the night. They insist on tacos for dinner and then waffles, eggs, and bacon for breakfast. EVERY TIME. There is never a question on what the menu will be. One time I ordered pizza because I just ran out of time – that did not go over well. The sleepovers are super fun. Even with all the different age groups, they all seem to get along well. We had one last hurrah before we left Virginia and I invited the parents to come in for a happy hour. That is another tradition we will continue. Good times and great memories. If you live in the glen, you better get your calendar out – we have some sleepover making up to do.

4. Of course, when you have kids, you have endless blog material. That is definitely a big fat plus of parenting.

5. And, finally, I love that my children give me the gift of being true to myself. This is hard to do as a parent – especially if you are not following the main stream line of thinking. As your kids get older, the rules get a little more loosey goosey. Partly because they are gaining independence and partly because parents simply run out of steam. Parenting stretches you thin. There is no doubt about that. My parenting philosophy is simple — I would rather say, “oh that was a little silly” than “damn, I should not have done that or let them do that.” I am probably seen as a little over-protective and I am fine with that. My children have taught me that it is not only important to beat to your own drum – but to, in fact, make your own drum. I know this will get harder as we reach the teenager years and I pray for the strength to continue to go with my instincts. They have served me well so far.

6. Did you really think I could only do 5? So sorry. Six – I love it when I hear Mommy quietly whispered. I will never forget when I went from Mommy to Mom. It was a tough day and it came much earlier than I thought it possibly could. But when I hear Mommy spoken softly – I know I am needed in a way that only a Mommy can be needed. (And Mommy whispered softly is not to be confused with “MAAAAWWWWMMMMY” yelled by a child running full speed at you – that is another story altogether.)

So now I am to tag others. I would love to hear from

Lola – she is my favorite blog smart arse – so hers will probably be funny – if she does it – I know you might take a pass sassy! She’s not a big fan of being tagged.

Miss Grace – I enjoy hearing her perspective

Kristen – although she just had a baby so she might be a little busy

Black Hockey Jesus – who says men can’t love being a parent too – I might just be a blip on his radar screen – he has a huge audience – so we’ll see if he has time to do it

Mrs. Smith – she has been looking for blog material – so here is an idea – she has 7 kids – it should be good.

Donna – she is recently separated and on a new adventure as a parent

And of course, anyone else who wants to play along is welcome to do so! There are some people I did not tag because I know they have a lot going on – but if you find the time – you are now officially “it”.

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16 Comments leave one →
  1. Tricia permalink
    May 7, 2009 10:01 pm

    What a great blog. I was going to head to bed early tonight, then I got to reading and now it is late. I was sad when my 7 year old told me to wait on the front porch while he walked to the bus stop! So sad. But it’s also good to see him want to be independent.. In a way, it makes me feel good to know that he has enough confidence to take on the bus stop by himself. (although the stop is in our front yard).. heehee, but still… the 50 feet of walking by himself was hard to watch.

  2. Tottsmom permalink
    May 3, 2009 7:27 pm

    More for my non-blog. I must have bad Karma or something. Get off the cruise from H — just to come home and get rear ended. Oh Happy Day!

  3. Casandra permalink
    May 3, 2009 6:15 pm

    This is very heart-warming!

  4. May 3, 2009 12:05 pm

    Thanks for the tag sweetie!

  5. May 3, 2009 4:59 am

    loved reading this I agree there is something in the mommy and not mom 🙂

  6. May 2, 2009 10:22 pm

    Tottsmom – okay now you have to start a blog – I am sorry the cruise didn’t go so well! But welcome back!

    Josie – that beautiful 11-day old little bundle of boy is the only reason you did not get tagged – put this in your back pocket for later. It’s great for your scrapbooks and those days when you don’t like the kiddos so much – it will remind you about the good in them. hee hee

  7. May 2, 2009 9:26 pm

    Another wonderful blog entry, my friend! Giving me insight in all I have to look forward to. With an 11 day old in my arms and my 16 month just mastering the “muh muh” I look forward to the softly whispered “mommy”.
    Thank you again for sharing with us.

  8. Tottsmom permalink
    May 2, 2009 8:56 am

    What a great Blog to get you thinking before Mother’s Day here in the US. I’ve been sans kids for a week. Now I’m back and cannot wait to go get them. I escaped the cruise from H E double toothpicks and came home a little early.

  9. May 1, 2009 8:55 pm

    Naomi – it does make hearing Mommy more special

    Badass – keep doing it!

    Kathleen – I called my mom Moma once and it did not go over well. 😎

    Oma – I know it’s coming – these girls already have their eye on Bear. I am trying to soak in every moment. Enjoy belly dancing!

    Sands – I enjoyed yours too – it’s hard to pick only 5

    Caitlin – I was absolutely overwhelmed

    Lola – I’m it, I’m it – pick me pick me!

  10. May 1, 2009 11:48 am

    Oh, you’re pulling the mommy card tagging me on this one! Great answers. I’ve always been “Mama,” so I’ll probably end up having “MAAAAAAA” screamed at me one of these days ;(

    These memes seem to come in threes. Of all of them I got whacked with this week, I’ll pick yours to do, I promise.

  11. Caitlin permalink
    May 1, 2009 11:35 am

    Love what you wrote! With my little one only 3 1/2 months old, I was especially touched my your #1, you said it so perfectly.

  12. May 1, 2009 10:18 am

    that was an nice read, i did the same tag today, see here http://sandhyas.blogspot.com/2009/05/being-mother.html

  13. Oma permalink
    May 1, 2009 9:11 am

    As a parent your blog said what lots of us feel…

    But time flys by and the next thing you know, where you were number one in your child life’s, you are now number five or six.. and in my opinion.. that is the way it should be…..but in reality it sometimes can be hard to adjust to.

    So enjoy them on…..enough of this..I’m going to my belly dance class and at the senior citizen’s center…haha

    Oma

  14. Kathleen permalink
    May 1, 2009 7:48 am

    Aww the mommy comment totally made me melt! luckily my boys are still young enough that they call me momma still. honestly, i called my mom mommy until 9th grade when i friend made fun of me for doing it and then i started calling her mom!

  15. May 1, 2009 7:06 am

    I call my mother “Mommy” on the Mother’s Day cards I give her.

    It makes her melt every time.

  16. May 1, 2009 5:29 am

    Love it! You’re quick!

    Thanks for some new blog fodder to read too!

    I too am already starting to miss the “Momma” now that it is rapidly getting replaced by “Mom”

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