12-step program for Facebook addicts – yes, there is hope…
Note – this will be funnier if you read You Might Be Addicted first.
Twelve step program for recovery from your Facebook addiction…
12. Stand up – do this slowly, if you have been sitting too long (hence the name addict) the blood could rush to your head from your butt. You will be totally disoriented – your brain might want to start thinking again – give this one some time.
11. Turn the computer off
10. Step away from the computer
9. Step away from the computer again – I know it’s tempting.
8. Do not turn the computer back on – in fact, unplug it.
7. Feed your children/pet/yourself – something besides Halloween candy or cereal.
6. Pick up the phone and actually talk to a real person – or better yet, leave the house and actually have lunch with a real person. (And no, eating a sandwich while talking to the mailman so your computer has time to reboot does not count!) You can start off slow on this one – just walk into the other room and talk to a family member – face-to-face.
5. Call your parents – they have been worried about you.
4. Hand write a list of people that you want to actually buy gifts for this season (typing it on the computer will suck you right back in) – gifts you can wrap -not gifts that have to be sent via Facebook.
3. Have a real pillow fight with your own family – no more pillow fights with “friends” you have not seen in 20 years.
2. Whoah – Do not sit back down. Have I lost you already? Step away from the computer.
1. Ask your friends (not the kid from 7th grade math – but your real friends) to set up an intervention – but do not, I repeat, do not conduct it via a Facebook chat or by posting it on someone’s wall. And, please, whatever you do, do not hand out fake drinks that you made on Facebook – some of your friends might be battling more than one addiction…
We all get by with a little help from our friends – please free to add any suggestions you might have…