Skip to content

12-step program for Facebook addicts – yes, there is hope…

November 17, 2008

Note – this will be funnier if you read You Might Be Addicted first.

Twelve step program for recovery from your Facebook addiction…

12. Stand up – do this slowly, if you have been sitting too long (hence the name addict) the blood could rush to your head from your butt. You will be totally disoriented – your brain might want to start thinking again – give this one some time.

11. Turn the computer off

10. Step away from the computer

9. Step away from the computer again – I know it’s tempting.

8. Do not turn the computer back on – in fact, unplug it.

7. Feed your children/pet/yourself – something besides Halloween candy or cereal.

6. Pick up the phone and actually talk to a real person – or better yet, leave the house and actually have lunch with a real person. (And no, eating a sandwich while talking to the mailman so your computer has time to reboot does not count!) You can start off slow on this one – just walk into the other room and talk to a family member – face-to-face.

5. Call your parents – they have been worried about you.

4. Hand write a list of people that you want to actually buy gifts for this season (typing it on the computer will suck you right back in) – gifts you can wrap -not gifts that have to be sent via Facebook.

3. Have a real pillow fight with your own family – no more pillow fights with “friends” you have not seen in 20 years.

2. Whoah – Do not sit back down. Have I lost you already? Step away from the computer.

1. Ask your friends (not the kid from 7th grade math – but your real friends) to set up an intervention – but do not, I repeat, do not conduct it via a Facebook chat or by posting it on someone’s wall. And, please, whatever you do, do not hand out fake drinks that you made on Facebook – some of your friends might be battling more than one addiction…

Good luck

We all get by with a little help from our friends – please free to add any suggestions you might have…

About these ads
11 Comments leave one →
  1. January 28, 2012 11:23 am

    Have fun

  2. Joe permalink
    April 28, 2011 2:11 pm

    Really funny stuff….My therapist told me, “DEACTIVATE”. Well we can see I don’t follow direction very well. Gave up a whole crap of addictions in order to accomodate this one and I am not letting this one go…lol

  3. Zazzzi permalink
    September 20, 2010 3:50 pm

    I am totally addicted. But, I hardly ever watch TV anymore. I go to work though. I see to my chores, groceries, etc. only when all of the above is done, do I go on to FB…:)

  4. Dean Leibe permalink
    June 11, 2010 5:21 am

    I wrote a similar blog on this subject but you nailed it here.

  5. March 31, 2010 9:56 am

    Bravo!

    I stumbled upon this blog randomly (I am guessing because I wrote something similar about Facebook on my blog at: http://vasusworld.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/the-dark-and-sinister-confessions-of-a-facebook-addict/, and the system found out the connection), and I am wiser and funnier for the experience.

    Nice list, I loved #12, 6 in particular :)

    Cheers!
    Vasu

  6. pam permalink
    April 20, 2009 5:31 pm

    this was made for my husband!!

  7. December 15, 2008 5:37 pm

    Claire – i try to limit my technological options – it saves me money and keeps me addicted to fewer things. Good luck with your battle – stay strong and step away from the ipod touch……….

  8. claire permalink
    December 14, 2008 11:53 pm

    “some of your friends may be battling more than one addiction” haha funny. About the computer thing it’s really tempting for me since I can go on it with my iPod touch. Any suggestions?

Trackbacks

  1. Report Card………….. « A Reason To Write
  2. Facebook - you might be addicted if… « A Reason To Write - India

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: