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Facebook – you might be addicted if…

November 16, 2008

Cereal has been served for dinner more than three nights in a row in your house – and you find nothing wrong with that – that cereal is fortified – with vitamins – thank you very much.

Oh yeah, the kids – you forgot you had them – hopefully they found the cereal.

Your pets haven’t eaten period.

You are so proud that a famous person has friended you. Note to self – they are just trying to become more famous. You are called a fan not a friend.

You have joined more than 5 groups full of people that you could possibly, potentially know, maybe – I know, really they actually lived in the same state as you at one point, for at least 5 minutes. (thanks Brain Teaser).

You have taken the IQ challenge and believe that your IQ really is 140. Oh honey, maybe not so much.

Halloween candy has become a legitimate snack because it doesn’t take you away from the computer that long.

Your butt is getting flatter from sitting, sitting, sitting at the computer. Maybe that’s from eating the Halloween candy – when the two are mixed together, it’s hard to tell which came first – the candy or the Facebook.

You leave Facebook running in the background pretty much all the time – you never know when someone you barely know might want to chat.

You have missed your favorite tv show more than once and forgot to Tivo it. Duh. Technology allows us to be addicted to more than one electronic device at a time – let’s use that to our advantage people.

The kid who sat behind you in math class in 7th grade knows more about your life than your own parents. After all, he knew you when too.

You are willing to spend 5 hours scanning in old photos that you hated of yourself just so you can share them with, well, pretty much everyone in the world. If they involve the prom, childbirth, or a college fraternity party – seek immediate help.

You compete to have the most friends.

The “Wall” no longer makes you  think of Pink Floyd.

You laugh when you see that someone has actually typed out the whole word “Facebook” – it’s FB, newbie.

You actually update your status on a regular basis.

You don’t ignore anyone -except, maybe, your parents.

You have your notifications sent to your crackberry.

You know how to kidnap someone, share a christmas elf, give flair, and IM and can do it while eating a piece of Halloween candy. You are good.

You have engaged in a virtual pillow fight and really spent time picking out the pillow you liked best. It’s good to have options but please, please tell me that you do know you aren’t really going to be allowed to sleep on it.

You know how to make a smiley face – an actual smiley face not just a bunch of symbols that kind of, sort of resemble a smiley face. 😎

Communication in your house is accomplished mainly via Facebook’s IM feature – it’s all done within the same house – different computers – but different computers located in the same house. No need to see actual faces – you are a jedi master in the smiley face/emoticon realm. And yes, you can make a ticked off face too. You are a master. Yoda would be very proud – let the face be with you.

You have lost track of night and day. An hour lost here or there is not really a big deal. Trust me on this one. But an entire day – yeah, that’s a problem.

You have friends you have not actually ever met.

You laughed at any of the above. And, please don’t ask me how I know any of this. I am not a scientist but I can play one on Facebook.

Have no fear – there is hope. There is a 12-step program just for you.

When did you first learn you were an addict? Do tell – misery so loves company.

17 Comments leave one →
  1. Sassy Suzy permalink
    April 28, 2011 6:08 pm

    This is FB fab! Yeup, I am an addict. I cannot live without my FB no moah…I eat, drink and take phone calls all at my desk now…LOL…Love it. It’s working well. Cuts way back on the dish washer also.
    Just trying to find a way of how I can sleep in between all of this – at my desk!

  2. mishka permalink
    May 5, 2009 10:08 am

    wow…. this hit it right on the head…
    I am a FB addict….

  3. Graziella Delgado permalink
    January 7, 2009 3:21 pm

    Hello….My name is Graz…..I’m an addict….I get a rush everytime the number of my friends reach the next 10th, or even 5th….I have become a stalker of everyone I have ever known…Ok…I need to step away from the computer now…..Hooray someone has written on my wall!!….I’m no quitter!

  4. areasontowrite permalink
    November 20, 2008 8:49 am

    I know what you mean – I have the fortunate ability to be addicted to two websites at the same time – oh, I am good, my friend!

  5. Locohama permalink
    November 19, 2008 9:02 pm

    replace facebook with wordpress and that’s me

  6. November 17, 2008 7:41 am

    brain training – I forgot that one – oh yes, if you have joined a group – you have it bad. I added a line and gave you credit – thanks again!

  7. November 17, 2008 3:03 am

    I also am a FACEBOOKAHOLIC. Aside from friends request, I also receive a request to join a group.

  8. November 16, 2008 7:28 pm

    I am so proud of you for coming to grips with your addiction – and I happily join you in Facebookers Anonymous.

  9. Elizabeth permalink
    November 16, 2008 6:11 pm

    Hi… My name is Elizabeth and I am a Facebookaholic….

  10. November 16, 2008 1:56 pm

    yep – all by my lonesome – but I did have a little inspiration from this girl I knew in high school – she had a great prom date. But I will never tell who it was…

  11. Rhonda P permalink
    November 16, 2008 1:39 pm

    Wow! Hit the nail right on the head with this one!!!! Is there a cure?????

  12. November 16, 2008 1:06 pm

    you inspire me sweetypie! I am secretly hoping to be cruella – 101 friends here I come.

  13. Liz Persell permalink
    November 16, 2008 12:49 pm

    This is great! I am proud to say I have not been on FB for 4 days because I was nearly to the point above. But I do wonder on a regular basis “what’s going on FB without me!”

  14. November 16, 2008 12:13 pm

    I wrote this blog, remember? I plead quilty. FB had me at login.


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