A Medical Event a la India……..

Yesterday morning I heard the words I knew I would hear while in India – it was just a matter of time – and they were the words I was dreading the most.

“Bear needs to go to the emergency room.”

Oh yeah. That sounds great. Do we even know where an emergency room is – and by “an” ER, I do mean the best emergency room in town. Yes the very best. And right now would be good. Thanks.

Off we go to Apollo Hospital. Someone told me that when I moved to India I should set ALL expectations aside. That was frankly the best advice I have received since we decided to move here. (Thanks Loco.)

Let me just put you at ease. Bear was not in danger. This was NOT a respiratory episode. He is very prone to getting bitten by mosquitoes and then he is even more prone to scratching them. In which they get extremely infected. He has a few bites on his arms. He has scratched them. They are infected.

We do not have a doctor here yet. On Monday, there is a meeting at the school where they plan to give us helpful information about how to obtain medical assistance  – only, it’s not Monday yet.

Before you think I over-reacted, read on. So Hubby is talking to Bear and giving him some Benadryl. And for whatever reason, Bear leans over the couch and the back of his shirt lifts up. And there is the biggest, reddest, infected rash I have ever seen. Number One Hubby comes to tell me about it and starts by saying – don’t freak out. Yeah, good morning to you too dear.

So Bear comes and shows me – I do not freak out – he is breathing – that is good. There have been times when breathing has been a tremendous struggle for my little bear – I can handle this. This rash is about the size of a small pizza and, come to think of it, that’s about what it looks likes minus the cheese.

Hubby makes some calls. He takes the girls to school. Bear and I head to Apollo hospital. Luckily we have a driver who knows the way.

Two people from Hubby’s office meet us at the hospital and soon Hubby arrives. The people he works with have been tremendously supportive of our journey here. I think that we have had a much easier transition than most people experience because of their amazing help. Delhi is considered a hardship post by most companies.

So anyER, we get dropped off at the ER doors. We go in. It was a good thing I did not have expectations. It does not look like the ER that I am used to (yes, sadly, there is an ER that I am used to) – it is, as we say, different. The facilities looked old and, frankly, a little not so sparkly clean. The best way I can describe it was like the M.A.S.H. tv show – only it was inside. Nothing scared me – I was just glad I had no expectations.

However, the attendants were very helpful and walked us right back. Someone came out of the of “head of ER” office and snuck a quick peek. A phone call was made and we had an appointment with a dermatologist. In an hour and a half. That was different too. I am not used to that kind of helpful service. Thank you.

We went to the dermatologist’s office to wait – it was in the main section of the hospital. Bear said – this part looks better.

I thought – damn, he noticed that too. I agreed with him.

The waiting room had the same feel as the ER. Someone came over and told us that it was our turn. They did not call out Bear’s name. I wonder how they figured out which one he was. Hmmmmmm.

The doctor’s office was very small – desk right beside the exam table. The doctor used to live in Connecticut. He misses the U.S.

Enter a bonding moment – I just happen to miss the U.S. too.

He and hubby talked about hubby’s job – more bonding – we never felt rushed.

But we are here to talk about Bear. Don’t worry, I can direct traffic with the best of them and focused our conversation where it needed to be.

He looked Bear over – he felt very confident that he knew just what was wrong. Bear scratched his mosquito bites and they got infected. And then he was also allergic to some other environmental irritant and got another rash. It got infected. We have to be careful about what he eats and what he uses as toiletries. That should (not) be easy enough. We also got antibiotics, two soaps, and a couple of ointments.

The ride home went like this….

Me: I do not heart Delhi today
Hubby: This could have happened in the U.S.
Me: You are going to say that to me with a straight face
Hubby: He has had problems with mosquito bites before
Me: I do not heart Delhi today.

I try to keep things in perspective and this was not a major event in our lives. Bear is tired, his rash looks better, and he will be just fine. I never doubted that. Yesterday was just a reminder that I am not in my comfort zone. I very much liked my comfort zone. It was comfortable.

The reality check came when we were waiting for our prescriptions. A man came in who works for my husband. His wife was at the hospital in a coma. It seems that the scarf on her sari got caught in the wheel of her husband’s motorcycle and she was thrown to the ground and hit her head. Yes, I am counting my blessings and tomorrow I will have a fun story about another adventure in India.

Could you spell that please?

I am no stranger to people not understanding me. I was born in South Carolina and lived in the somewhat deep south until 4th grade. We moved to Germany for 5th grade and sometimes people did not understand what I was saying – I had me a twang. For 7th grade we moved to Georgia – minus some of the twang – I had lost most of it – and some of my words seemed odd and, strangely, less accented.

Six years in Georgia fixed that quite nicely. Pass me a mint julep. Pretty please. And then off to college I went. Up North.  Well (just barely) south of the Mason Dixon line. But North is in the eye of the beholder.  It was in a very diverse area but an area with no real accent of its own. Enter my southern drawl. Could you spell that please – I heard that more than once and it seemed so insulting. Doesn’t everyone say PEEEEEEnuhhhhts, puh leeeeees?

Then there was the time I went to visit my cousin in Wyoming. Play me some mountain music, Hillbilly. The friends of my cousin laughed so hard at my accent that their sody pop came right out of them their noses. I cried for over an hour. They were not tears of joy.

So moving to India and hearing the different accents hasn’t been too hard for me. I can sympathize. I just slow down my ears and listen up real good. It is really amazing, even the Americans here are from all over the world. It is the United Nations of Accents.

Last week, I started taking Hindi lessons. Okay, I have had one (ek) lesson. But I have been trying out some of my new words.

It turns out I still have me a funny little accent. The three Indian men in my daily life, Raju, Ravi, and Kahn all have a hard time understanding just exactly what it is I am trying to say. When they slow down their ears – they can understand most of it. It is a lesson in slow for all of us.

I was leaving to go to the market the other day and Raju and Ravi taught me how to say goodbye – ta ta. Sounds like Tigger – hey, I can remember that. I can even spell it.

Then they tried to teach me how to say “take me to” Defence (this is not misspelled – remember the British influence here) Colony market. I don’t even remember the words they tried to teach me because I am blocking this from recent memory. They told me – I practiced – they laughed – I made them pinky swear they weren’t teaching me to call our driver a jerk – and I practiced again.

Then I got in the car

Me: Kahn and then “what (I thought) they taught me to say”
Kahn: Ma’am?
Me: Doesn’t that mean “I want to go to Defence Colony Market”?
Kahn: Ma’am?
Me: What did I just say?
Kahn: Defence Colony Ma’am?
Me: Okay. Defence Colony Market it is. Can we go there?
Kahn: Yes Ma’am.

Then our driver explains the market to me. He’ll park here and wait for me here. There are two sides. You go down the right and then come back up the right. He’ll wait here. Here is where he will be. Waiting for me. Ma’am.

Okay, it is not lost on me that he could not understand “I want to go to the market” but he could completely explain the market to me. Maybe I am just language retarded. Maybe falling out of a swing when I was little and hitting my head on cement really was something to be a wee bit more concerned about.

My teacher is coming back on Monday and you can be sure, my first lesson will be – I want to go to…….

Ta Ta.

I am not joining the pity party…….

As I have had more time on my hands lately, I have been reading (a lot) of blogs. I have found this network of women who are lamenting over the fact that they had to have cesarean sections to give birth to their children. They drew me in and I read several of them. But I had a hard time making a connection.

I really, truly appreciate the fact that many women want to fully experience childbirth a la natural. Me, well, I am more of a bring on the drugs kind of person. Epidural – yes, please. C-section – if you insist.

However, I, too, was all set to deliver my babies the old fashioned way – well with the benefit of modern pharmaceuticals and a building and doctors – no woods, no medicine men for me. Thanks anyway. Number one hubby and I checked the box and attended a Lamaze class – watched the video – and realized that we had absolutely no idea what we had gotten ourselves me into. I have to do what? And you get to sit there and tell me how to breathe? I am quite sure that is (not) going to prove to be very helpful.

Our Lamaze instructor was very excited about all things birth. However, being so close to the actual event myself (coupled with the fact that I was the one actually responsible for accomplishing it), I found it hard to share her enthusiasm. So, when she got to the part on c-sections, I remember turning to Number One Hubby and asking if he wanted to go get some lunch. Enough already. There are truly only so many home videos an about-to-be-mom can watch.

I think I can quote that instructor exactly, “I want everyone here to pay v.e.r.y. close attention to this part of the class. No one here thinks they will have a c-section, but I can guarantee you that at least one person in this room will deliver by c-section. You will want to know what’s happening.”

Me to Hubby: Oh, that’s really too bad. I wonder
which one of THOSE women it will be.
Hubby: Yeah.
Fate: You my sista.

I spent several days in and out of the hospital in the days before Bear was born. I won’t bore you with the details – we all have a story – but the bottom line was the doctors think I was passing a kidney stone. Yes, that was a great idea. Welcome to my little corner of brilliance. Give birth – pass a kidney stone – oh heck, let’s just do both – at the same time – sure. But in a way it was lucky, because in searching for the stone, they found my amniotic fluid was low and that my little Bear was breech. They scheduled me for a c-section a few days later. Seems they were very busy on that particular day and could not do it right away. But didn’t you say my amniotic fluid was low? Whatever. At least I thought I would have time to review the tape. That Lamaze lady was right, maybe I should have paid attention. Oh, you meant me?

I thought I had time to review those tapes until my water broke and we found ourselves in an emergency c-section situation. And, by ourselves, I do mean myself. Oh yes, doesn’t that sound a lot better? My husband was conducting a science experiment to determine exactly what type of fluid was gushing out of me at record speeds, while I was busy doing my best to convince him that we needed to go back to the hospital. Immediately. As in Right. Now. It was the stuff that sitcoms are made of. It seems he was tired and he really just wanted to sit down. Seriously? Let’s leave the alkaline test to the professionals. You know – the brilliant ones who just sent us home.

Needless to say, I had surgery. I recovered from surgery and got pregnant again. I ended up with 3 sections. All three of them emergencies. You’ve now read about Bear. Flower was also breech. I had a granola doctor who wanted to try to flip her for me – but I read about it and decided it wasn’t so much for me. They do it in the operating room in case you go into labor or stress (translation – something goes wrong or worse, very wrong) – it was only about 50% likely to work – and they expect the mom (and I am guessing her little bundle of baby) to get pretty bruised and therefore to be pretty uncomfortable – yes, with labor looming. No thank you. I survived one c-section just fine. Bring on number two. Flower’s birth became an emergency because apparently slipping on the ice late in pregnancy can bring on labor and my water broke again. There is just no rest for the clumsy.

Angel – well, it seems they don’t want you to even consider a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean – if there are any men still reading at this point -sorry) after two c-sections. But just to keep it interesting, I was in a car accident the day Angel was born and learned what decelerated heart rate means in triage. I can assure you that labor and deliver triage is neither the time nor the place to review SAT vocabulary words like decelerated heart rate or STAT.

Because my water broke twice, I had the initial experience of being in labor. Yeah, it is not all it’s cracked up to be. Going into labor gives me the thrill of shaking like a meth addict in rehab. It ain’t pretty. The first time it happened, I was terrified that the anesthesiologist would not be able to get the needle in the right spot. And, YES, I had read all those articles about the potential for paralysis with a misplaced epidural. (note to self – step away from the internet.) The doctor said as long as he wasn’t shaking we were fine. Oh good, I got a comedian. Thankfully a very steady comedian. I can still walk.

The bottom line in all of this is that c-sections are not perfect. But I am very thankful modern science has brought them into existence. If you have ever had a c-section or are facing one soon – even if, my friend, it was something you chose to do – please do not feel short changed. It is one of your first journeys into parenthood and it foreshadows what the rest of your parenting journey will be like – at times scary, at times rushed, at times overwhelming, at times disappointing, and at times rewarding beyond measure. When they put that little baby in your arms, it will not matter one bit how he or she got there. You’ll be just as overwhelmed as any other new parent – with love and joy and a whole new sense of responsibility.

I think it might be the loss of control that is so hard to forget and forgive. And the fear that follows it. Not knowing what will happen next can be extremely overwhelming, especially when a life seems to hang in the balance. But again, that is just one pebble in this parenting path. A pebble that will forever hide in the corner of our shoe as a constant, irritating reminder that we do not control the cosmos. Sometimes we have to walk uncomfortable journeys to get to our destination.

The tears really worth shedding are for those men and women who never get to hold a child they love in their arms.

NOTE: after writing this post, I received a lot of comments via email and on the blog – as a result, I followed up with a post called “Digging Deeper”

I am afraid I short-changed you – so sorry……………….

When I was writing the post about the Surajkund Crafts Mela, I realized I had hardly published any pictures of the outside of the Amber Fort. I am so sorry! Number One Hubby had never been to a fort – well, he had been to the Fort Laramie, Wyoming, fort – but it’s little and he doesn’t remember too much except the apple butter. So when we got to the Amber Fort in Jaipur, India, he was blown away by its size. Of yes, he had fort envy.

Anyfort, I so short-changed you. But, here they are…

This was one of our first views.

And then there was this.

We were in awe the entire time.

Magnificent.

Unbelievable.

McMansions have got nothing on this place.

Mela Mela Mela……………

You might remember the post about the Amber Fort, when I asked you if you liked my shirt. Here’s the picture… just in case you haven’t time to memorize all the little details of my blog yet.

I got it at the SurajKund Crafts Mela in Delhi. It is open from Feb. 1 – 15th every year. Holy crafts, Batman! It is awesome! I bought dolls, tablecloths, boxes, kurtas (Indian-style) shirts, marble elephants, and even a Taj Mahal snow globe. And, yes, the snow globe has already been broken. And, yes, glitter looks very pretty on a marble floor.

They also had pottery, jewelry, saris, shoes, purses, furniture, kites, umbrellas, lanterns, yard decorations (oh, if I only had a yard), and booth after booth of authentic craft items from all over India and several other Asian countries.

We were told not to bring our camera because it gets crowded and it’s just one more thing to keep track of – humpf – I blog to differ on that one. It does get very crowded – but I am not sure what is so unusual about that – India is mega crowded – why would a Mela be any different? But we listened. Bummer.

Note to self – bring camera and video camera. We got there at about 10:30am – it opens at 9:30am – next year we will get there when it opens. Nothing really starts that early in India as compared to the United States. So at 10:30am, it was not crowded and you can park pretty close to the entrance. That means you can walk around and take lots of pictures – then return your camera to the car and shop away unencumbered. Next year, we’ll do just that.

There were amazing performances from around India. The performers were dressed in gorgeous outfits doing unbelievable things like dancing with five bowls on their heads. The musicians were magical. It was culture overload and it was fabulous!

Many of the crafters were making their crafts right at their booths.

And, yes we bargained. And we got deals. This shirt was $5. And yes, I put the decimal in the right place. Not everyone gave us the deal we were hoping for – but our new haggling philosophy is “no harm, no foul.” The worst they can say is no. And this particular Mela only takes place once a year and a billion people live in this country – there is no way they will remember us next year!

We learned a new phrase at the Mela – skin tax. Are you confused – fear not – I am here to ’splain it. It seems that we, being lighter skinned than most people here, will be charged a skin tax. Translation – the prices are higher for us. Interesting. Sure. Unfair. Sure. Good to know. You bet your arse!

So at one point, Number One Hubby found some shirts he liked. He was standing next to an Indian woman who just happened to want to know prices too.

Hubby: Go ahead, tell her the price.
Crafter: Dumbfounded. And Silent.
Hubby: Go ahead, really, go ahead
Indian Woman: Smirking and looking away
Hubby: I’ll pay what she pays
Me: smirking – that’s my man

The crafter wanted to wait until Hubby was done shopping before he would discuss prices with the Indian woman. Hubby called his bluff and it worked. I really am not saying that we are always charged more – but skin tax happens.

What are the bathrooms like you ask – horrible – but worth it. What did we have for lunch, you wonder – are you really a fan, I wonder – we had pizza – Dominoes Pizza with a Coke. And for dessert? Cotton Candy. Some fair foods are clearly universal. Act II popcorn also had a booth. Of course, there was a lot of authentic Indian food if you are braver than we are.

If you want to know a really, really good time to visit us – that would be the first two weeks of Febraury – it’s not hot – and there is the SurajKund Mela. I am going twice next year – once with my family – and once by myself. It is one of my favorite experiences so far! And, yes, next year, I will have pictures.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am…….

If you think you have been serving out your term as the reigning Meanest Parent on the Planet to the fullest, I am so sorry to inform you that you have just been dethroned. Move over. Thank. You. Very. Much. I am now officially The Meanest Mother on the Planet and am frankly vying for the Mrs. Universe title. The Cruelest in the Universe. That’s me. I am pulling out all the stops. Watch out cosmos.

My child informed me recently that I am in fact the Meanest Mom Ever – that is quite an accomplishment – and thank you my dear. I know well that there is a lot of skilled competition out there.

FYI sweet cheeks, you are only 7, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

I did not even try to tell her that my job is to keep her safe and healthy – happy is up to her – and that I will continue to do my job to the best of my abilities until she has her own children and I can pass on the crown – to her.

Girlfriend’s Guide to Jaipur……………

I wrote a Girlfriend’s Guide to the Taj Mahal and you seemed to like it – so I will do the same for Jaipur. If you would just like to read about our trip, you will find day one here and day two here.

The Essentials:

You will want toilet paper, diaper wipes, Purell, comfortable walking shoes, and capri pants for your journeys. And Dramamine – plus an empty bowl for the car (that is just in case the Dramamine does not work and you are stuck in traffic). I stick by that. And I am going to add bottled water and many,  many recognizable snacks. You can buy soda pretty much anywhere – not always the diet variety – but a regular Coke won’t kill you every now and then. And caffeine is caffeine. To be fair, you can buy water just about anywhere too – but just be sure you hear that familiar click when YOU unscrew the bottle. And just say no to ice.

Peppermints or other hard candies are great to have in the car, too. Peppermints are especially good because they can sooth an upset tummy. That’s called a two-fer. When your children claim that, yes, in fact, they just might actually die from thirst unless they get a drink at this very moment – and you are not sure where the next European bathroom might be – you can give them a candy. Peace ensues and all will be right with the world of thirst. You’ll want to pace yourself – the European bathrooms are few and far between. Unless you have boys, then they can just go anywhere – yep, pretty much anywhere.

Eating out:

Think “you say tomato, I say tomahto” on the experience of eating out – pizza in the hotel restaurant may not be the pizza you (and your kids expect). There will a lot of things that are not recognizable. Which is really great if you have adventurous eaters – enter Bear, Flower, and Angel – quite possibly the most unadventurous eaters on the planet. They are still very confused as to why the McDonalds in India do not serve chicken nuggets – just sandwiches. Rome wasn’t built in a day – be thankful for the fries and move on.

We ordered Pizza Hut (yes real Pizza Hut) for dinner – I know you can shake your head in shame – go ahead, I’ll wait – but hungry children are not happy children. Happy children make traveling much more enjoyable. Sign me up for more enjoyable travels. Two large pizzas and four 7-ups cost about $12. They were delivered to the room and I got to stay in my pjs- priceless.

Buffets seem to be a good way for my family to experience eating out in unchartered waters. There are many options and some are recognizable. Sometimes you might pay $10 for your daughter to eat a plate of rice – but it is a plateful of rice she will recognize – and therefore, probably, eat. YEAH! With a buffet, you can at least see what will be on your plate before you order it. Brillant. We had the breakfast buffet at the hotel and they had pancakes, fruit, made to order omelets (be careful here – green chilis can look like green peppers if they are sliced thin enough), toast, and some cereals. Of course, they had some things that were very different than what we are used to – steamed broccoli, green beans, baked beans, cooked tomatoes – but a lot of good choices. I had broccoli for breakfast for the first time in my life.

Change/Small Bills:

Whenever you travel in India, make sure you have small bills with you. Some of the people you will pay for things are not thrilled with coins – not that they won’t take them – they will – but better to see smiles than frowns. They seem to  prefer paper. For example, if you want to take a picture of someone, you might give them 10 rupees for their smile. It’s a nice gesture and doesn’t cost you much. I suggested to my dear sweet husband that perhaps we should ask the hotel for some smaller bills (the ATM machines we have visited give you 500 rupees at a time). He did not agree – but I won’t go there – suffice it to say that you will want some bills with 100, 50, 20, and 10 rupees on the face of them. Then everyone can smile.

Snake Charmer:

When he was done, we paid the snake charmer 20 rupees (see you do need smaller bills – sorry, I wasn’t going to go there). He asked for 200 rupees. Our guide laughed, number one hubby laughed, the man sitting on the bench watching it all transpire laughed. I reminded them all that the snake charmer had cobras – real live cobras. Walk away slowly and backwards. I personally think that if you choose snake charming as your profession, being alive at the end of the day is its own reward. But, who am I to say. We left him with 20 rupees and his life. We paid after the performance. That seems to be the way to go here – for the most part, pay when they are done. He did not send the snakes after us.

They do milk the snakes each day so that their poison is used up for the day. I still do not have a picture of myself charming the snake. I will save my charms for adventures that are not life threatening. But, yes, I did let my children do it – okay, logic does not always prevail here.

Elephant Ride:

570 rupees per elephant (about $11) to ride to the Amber Fort – for this you pay for the ride when you get on the elephant – but save the tip until the end of the ride. We were told that in the city of Jaipur we could ride an elephant for 50 rupees – away from the main tourist attractions – yes that is a big difference – but we chose to ride one to the Amber Fort. I would actually recommend riding the elephants to the fort. The route that cars take is a road that is narrow and small and harrowing. You will get to experience the narrow, harrowing road on the way down from the fort because you can only ride the elephants up to the fort. This will make perfect sense when you see how steep the ride down is – it would be hard to remain balanced on the elephants when they are walking down it.

Two people can fit on each elephant (three if two of the people are little people) and the driver will expect a tip. We gave him 100 rupees. He asked for his money before he let us off the elephant. I had it ready – but it might not be good to let it be visible to the driver before you are ready to get off the elephant. Our driver talked about money the whole way up. His English was hard for me to understand. I have know idea what I did or did not agree to. But he let us off the elephant without too much argument. You can take bananas with you and feed the elephant when your ride is over. Yes, I wish I had known that. When will my kids get another chance to feed an elephant? Prepare your children (and yourself) for the fact that the drivers will  hit the elephants hard – very hard – with sticks – big sticks. Many of the elephants have raw spots on their ears.

Restrooms:

First, use the restroom in your hotel before you leave the hotel. Don’t have high expectations for soft toilet paper.

But, there is a lovely restroom at the Amber fort – it costs 5 rupees per person. (Yes, you did the math correctly – that is about 10 cents). It is clean – very clean – and there is a European style toilet (that means you can sit on it or over it whichever you choose) and toilet paper and running water and even soap. Whoa Nellie. I might just move in here. It is the heaven of all things bathroom. It is the nicest bathroom I have seen in India. Pay the 10 cents – even if you don’t need to go – you’ll just want to visit. There is a girl who will give you a paper towel when you are done drying your hands. I gave her 10 rupees. I know – big spender – that was about 20 cents. Very generous I am.

This bathroom is so great you could wear a skirt or long pants here. Although I still would not recommend them for the rest of your journey. Capris really are the way for women to go.

Shopping After Sight-seeing:

Okay, I have figured something out – I might be a little slow on the uptake – but I have got it now. The guide that we paid to show us the city was well worth the 500 rupees per day that we paid him. But he must get commission to take us to certain shops. Souvenir shops. I do not want to bring home souvenirs to my friends and family – I want authentic Indian items that I can buy in the markets – not in an air conditioned store with wide aisles and 5,000 salesmen. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating – it might have only been 3,000 salesmen – but it was way too many.  These shops are honestly fine if you do not have a lot of time. There are a lot of different things, they are clean, you can and should bargain, and blah, blah, blah. But we had time. I wanted to really shop – in markets. I have not seen a lot of clothing items in these types of markets either – so if you are looking for clothing be very specific with your guide that you want clothing – if he says “textiles”, repeat yourself. Clothing. Textiles seems to mean carpets and linens.

I am rethinking my earlier statement that you should not buy from the vendors at the various sites. The motivation of the guide was not, I think, to keep us unbothered but to protect his commission. I saw lovely things for sale at the Amber fort – specifically puppets. There was a puppet store that I asked our guide to take us back to – he did not take us there – but to a tourist market. We were so angry that we let him go for the day.

Peddlers at the Amber Fort

The peddlers we saw at the Amber Fort were the most “in your face” we have seen. As I think back on the day, I do not remember going through a security check point – so maybe this is why. Anyone can enter the courtyard area without a ticket. But we just continued to say nay. Twelve or so times. And then they pretty much left us alone.

Pictures:

My children were asked many times if they would take a picture with someone. I always said no. It made my children uncomfortable – and me too. So, no it is. Our guide handled most of this for us. However, this does present quite a double standard. I think the Indian people are beautiful and want to take pictures of them. So call me a hypocrite. I am fine with that. If it is a poor person, I give them a little bit to thank them for their troubles.

Guides:

I have said this before and I will say it again – the guides speak English very well but is often heavily accented. So, it really does pay to do a little research before you go somewhere – then you will recognize names and places they are saying – this is very helpful! Our experience with guides was very different in Jaipur than it was in Agra. We were very happy with our guide in Agra – not so much with either guide in Jaipur. Although the first day was much better than the second. We are partly to blame for this. We did not do enough research about exactly what it was we wanted to see and we did not insist on seeing the one thing we really wanted to see – the Monkey Temple – we let ourselves get too easily talked out of it. Shame on us – lesson learned.

The guide each day was 500 rupees ($10). We tipped the guide the first day well – the second day, we did not tip so well. As I said earlier, it seems that the guides make their real money on the commission they get from the shops they take you to. So make it clear whether or not you want to shop in those stores and if not, consider giving the guide a little bit more of a tip – if you are happy with the service you received.

Temples:

We have not been to a temple yet – but we hope to do that soon. One thing I have learned about visiting temples is that women should always be prepared to cover their heads. It is also a good idea to carry a bag with you large enough to carry your shoes in. This is probably obvious to most – but just in case – photography might not be allowed either. If you are fortunate enough to be able to participate in any kind of ceremony at a temple, remember to receive items in your right hand with your left hand underneath your right.

Overall Jaipur is definitely worth a visit. It is a exquisite city with rich with history and culture. We will absolutely go back.

For Granted….

I will never again take for granted a roof over my head – no matter how small that roof might be………

Jaipur – The Amber Fort…………..

Day Two of our adventure to Jaipur – the Pink City. If you have not read about day one - you can do that here.

Enter Day Two.

This is called the Water Palace. Can you guess why? Yes, four of its stories are under water. We were told the only way to visit it was to swim across the (very dirty) water. We chose to take pictures from the road. I may be willing to move to India – but I do have my limits.

This must a guard tower – or something. It looked pretty cool whatever it is.

If you look closely at this picture, on the hill, you will see the wall of the really big fence that surrounds the Amber (or Amer) Fort. I guess if Legos and Lincoln Logs have not been invented yet, your imagination can run wild. It is hard to explain just how steep that hill is or how amazing this wall is. Maybe you should come visit and we’ll take you to it.

And finally the elephant ride. Angel has been asking since before we left the U.S. if she could ride an elephant. Ride she did. It made her nervous and she doesn’t need to do it again anytime soon. But I feel good knowing I helped her check something off of her bucket list. Tomorrow I am going to post my Girlfriend’s Guide to Jaipur – if you plan to ride the elephants at Amber Fort, you’ll want to read it for sure.

The cost per elephant is 570 rupees (about $11).

This man will try to sell you a blanket with elephants on it on your ride up to the fort. Hey mister, I am not going to actually buy it – but could you look over here and maybe smile -could you hold it a little more to the left – that’s it – I have a blog  – you and your pretty blanket are going to be on it. Lucky you.

The cost to get in the Fort is 150 rupees for anyone over 7 years old. Well that is any foreign visitor over 7 years old. Non-foreign visitors are 25 rupees or 10 rupees. We did not try to pretend to be non-foreign. It was as plain as the noses on our faces that were are not Indian.

This was in the main courtyard. If I understood our guide correctly they were either filming a movie here or they do occasionally film movies here. Either way – at some point in time movies might be filmed here. And nope, they did not ask me to appear in a cameo. Dang.

This was the entrance to the residence area. One poor king who once lived here only had two wives. Another had twelve. I will ask you to remember that I am biting my tongue on this issue. I did not make up the rules and I am (very) glad I did not have to live by them.

Ganesha is everywhere.

This is the palace of mirrors. The king with only two wives lived here with a wife on either side. Note to the readers of the male persuasion – if you limit your time to just one woman – you will have more to spend on her palace. The living accommodations for the king with twelve wives – not quite the same.

I took this picture.

My husband thought maybe he should take one too. Oh yes, I do see how much better it is. Must I point out that the picture above (the one I took) captured the full border of the panel? I think not. Whatever.

Then we went to see a concert called Mehfil within the fort. I loved it – Bear, Angel, Flower – not so much. But sometimes it’s fun to torture your children with culture. I highly recommend it. Number One Hubby did not fall asleep – you can take that as a good sign. It was 100 rupees per person ($2). No discount for kids. And it only lasted 20 minutes.

And they had dancers at the concert too. Flower liked the one in the yellow dress the best.

And the doors, oh the doors – they are amazing and fabulous.

We learned that Tulsi (a form of basil) is special in India.

This is a bathtub. Okay – I have bitten a hole in my tongue. But enough already. If you are going to have 12 wives, give them a place to bathe with perhaps a curtain – a faucet. Something. If I stood in this hole it would be about as deep as my shoulders are tall. Still – privacy please. And pssst – come here – shhhh – this is not the guide I would recommend. Don’t tell. And – yes, totally unrelated – but seriously – how do you like my shirt? I will tell you more about where I got it in a post coming to a blog near you very soon.

We were not so easily wooed by the snake charmers at the fort. Not because they weren’t perfectly charming – but simply because one snake charming per lifetime is enough thank you. No need to tempt fate. And I am not clear if these snakes have ever been invited to a puja. So, step away from the snake. Yes, that big snake called a cobra who is showing off his hood.

Our guide pointed out this temple to us at the base of the fort. He said there are hundreds of temples in Jaipur and somehow he managed to not take us to any of them. Hmmmmm. Lesson learned – insist on seeing a temple. The one we wanted to see but were talked out of seeing was the Monkey Temple. We are not happy about that. At all.

But Jaipur is lovely and there is a lot to see. Thanks for coming on our journey with us!

Jaipur – the Pink City

This weekend we set out on another family adventure. We went to complete the Golden Triangle. We have been to Delhi and Agra – now on to Jaipur, India.

The ride to Jaipur was easier than the ride to Agra. The roads were more like highways – although it seems everywhere we go we pass village areas with tons of interesting people. They capture my attention fully and interest me at least as much as the monuments. I am going to do a post soon about the people I have seen. They are striking and beautiful and busy with their lives.

There was a McDonalds along the way and several rest stops. Some of them have one European toilet – some do not – just remember, capris, toilet paper, diaper wipes, and Purell. There are several tolls.

Jaipur was the first planned city in India. Its construction began in 1727 by Maharaja Sawai Jai Singh II. You can tell a difference from Agra and Delhi. The streets are much wider and more organized – more perpendicular to each other and much less random – but they seemed to us much more crowded with people and animals in the street. The traffic seemed busier than Delhi’s traffic. That could simply be because the street are wider – more room surely equals more congestion.

It is rumored (at least according to Wikipedia) that in 1853, when the Prince of Wales visited Jaipur, the whole city was painted pink to welcome him. Most of the downtown area is still pink. The buildings carry intricate designs – look closely at them and you will find amazing details. If you aren’t interested in architecture, you can still enjoy their pinkness.

We stayed at the BellaCasa. My husband had told me about “service on service” but it is hard to understand without experiencing it. The BellaCasa was a good hotel for us – it was Western enough (although don’t believe everything you read on the menu) and we are not fancy pants – so 5 stars are certainly not necessary – or even desired. The tv got some American shows (in English – that is not always a given) which was nice for winding down at the end of the day. And there is a pool on the roof. Yippee Skippee.

Wait one minute – what’s “service on service” you want to know. Well, besides slightly annoying – it’s the staff asking you at every turn if everything is to your liking. I am not sure anything would change if you said no, but they want you to know they are interested – very interested. It’s the waiter putting my daughter’s syrup on her pancakes for her – I am sorry but – are her fingers broken? Don’t make her think that is normal. That would be no fun for me on our U.S. return. (Yes, sometimes it’s all about me.) And, really, she does not mind pouring her own syrup. She is an expert you might say. Leave her to her craft, por favor.

My children don’t have to walk anywhere, do dishes, wash clothes, take out the trash, or clean the litter. I am frankly drawing the line at them not having to add their own condiments to their own food.

We got lost in the city so we got to see quite a bit of it. At least from the car. Traffic is no less intimidating. But the sights of the city are marvelous.

This castle/fort is privately owned. I was told that the owner is 92 and that she “is not doing well” so if you are in the market for a home away from home, you might just get a good deal.

This is called the Palace of Winds or the Palace of Windows. It is a facade. It was built so that the women who observed very strict purdah (covering of their faces from public view) could still enjoy watching the festivals in the streets from the privacy of the palace. It is lovely. There seem to be more women in Jaipur than Delhi who still cover their entire face. Some let their eyes show, some do not. We were told that Jaipur is more old fashioned than Delhi.

And, yes, I am biting my tongue as to not comment on the sheer number of windows this palace sports. I know multiple wives were in favor here, but really, there are a lot of windows. Ouch. Still biting.

The old fashioned nature of Jaipur will probably be changing soon because there is a huge business corridor for businesses who outsource to India. Bring on the Western influences. Please let me apologize in advance for that. You might find some of our influences offensive. Others you will surely embrace. Let’s just hope that all the veils don’t drop.

This is a statue of Ghandi walking. It did not come out too clearly because we were driving past it (for the 3rd time) but it is unmistakeably him.

Also in Jaipur is the Jantar Mantar or House of Instruments. It is a fascinating park with 18 instruments to read the celestial bodies in the universe. An astrologer’s sanctuary if you will. This picture is of a gigantic sun dial. Here I am checking it against my watch. It was accurate. Amazing. Truly amazing.

And then there is the matter of the snake charmer. Charming he was. I am not a fan of all things reptile – but my kids were interested and number one hubby was willing – so a charming we will go.

The snake was not as impressed with us. Where is that Riki Tiki Tavi when you need him? Bring on the mongoose.

My little bear loves soccer and I came upon this. Are you kidding me? I did not buy it but, oh, how I wanted to! There was no room in the car for it – otherwise you might just see it in the glen. I really am not clear who would ever buy this except for me. Maybe the owners of the store consulted the astrologers at the House of Instruments and deemed me a sucker. But maybe it was truly coincidental. We’ll never really know.

This was day one of our journey – tomorrow I will write about the Amber Fort – stay tuned.