12-step program for Facebook addicts – yes, there is hope…
Note – this will be funnier if you read You Might Be Addicted first.
Twelve step program for recovery from your Facebook addiction…
12. Stand up – do this slowly, if you have been sitting too long (hence the name addict) the blood could rush to your head from your butt. You will be totally disoriented – your brain might want to start thinking again – give this one some time.
11. Turn the computer off
10. Step away from the computer
9. Step away from the computer again – I know it’s tempting.
8. Do not turn the computer back on – in fact, unplug it.
7. Feed your children/pet/yourself – something besides Halloween candy or cereal.
6. Pick up the phone and actually talk to a real person – or better yet, leave the house and actually have lunch with a real person. (And no, eating a sandwich while talking to the mailman so your computer has time to reboot does not count!) You can start off slow on this one – just walk into the other room and talk to a family member – face-to-face.
5. Call your parents – they have been worried about you.
4. Hand write a list of people that you want to actually buy gifts for this season (typing it on the computer will suck you right back in) – gifts you can wrap -not gifts that have to be sent via Facebook.
3. Have a real pillow fight with your own family – no more pillow fights with “friends” you have not seen in 20 years.
2. Whoah – Do not sit back down. Have I lost you already? Step away from the computer.
1. Ask your friends (not the kid from 7th grade math – but your real friends) to set up an intervention – but do not, I repeat, do not conduct it via a Facebook chat or by posting it on someone’s wall. And, please, whatever you do, do not hand out fake drinks that you made on Facebook – some of your friends might be battling more than one addiction…
Good luck
We all get by with a little help from our friends – please free to add any suggestions you might have…
Have fun
Really funny stuff….My therapist told me, “DEACTIVATE”. Well we can see I don’t follow direction very well. Gave up a whole crap of addictions in order to accomodate this one and I am not letting this one go…lol
I am totally addicted. But, I hardly ever watch TV anymore. I go to work though. I see to my chores, groceries, etc. only when all of the above is done, do I go on to FB…:)
I wrote a similar blog on this subject but you nailed it here.
Bravo!
I stumbled upon this blog randomly (I am guessing because I wrote something similar about Facebook on my blog at: http://vasusworld.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/the-dark-and-sinister-confessions-of-a-facebook-addict/, and the system found out the connection), and I am wiser and funnier for the experience.
Nice list, I loved #12, 6 in particular
Cheers!
Vasu
Hi Vasu
I enjoyed your post too. Thanks for stopping by. Cheers! Ellen
this was made for my husband!!
Claire – i try to limit my technological options – it saves me money and keeps me addicted to fewer things. Good luck with your battle – stay strong and step away from the ipod touch……….
“some of your friends may be battling more than one addiction” haha funny. About the computer thing it’s really tempting for me since I can go on it with my iPod touch. Any suggestions?