Facebook – you might be addicted if…
Cereal has been served for dinner more than three nights in a row in your house – and you find nothing wrong with that – that cereal is fortified – with vitamins – thank you very much.
Oh yeah, the kids – you forgot you had them – hopefully they found the cereal.
Your pets haven’t eaten period.
You are so proud that a famous person has friended you. Note to self – they are just trying to become more famous. You are called a fan not a friend.
You have joined more than 5 groups full of people that you could possibly, potentially know, maybe – I know, really they actually lived in the same state as you at one point, for at least 5 minutes. (thanks Brain Teaser).
You have taken the IQ challenge and believe that your IQ really is 140. Oh honey, maybe not so much.
Halloween candy has become a legitimate snack because it doesn’t take you away from the computer that long.
Your butt is getting flatter from sitting, sitting, sitting at the computer. Maybe that’s from eating the Halloween candy – when the two are mixed together, it’s hard to tell which came first – the candy or the Facebook.
You leave Facebook running in the background pretty much all the time – you never know when someone you barely know might want to chat.
You have missed your favorite tv show more than once and forgot to Tivo it. Duh. Technology allows us to be addicted to more than one electronic device at a time – let’s use that to our advantage people.
The kid who sat behind you in math class in 7th grade knows more about your life than your own parents. After all, he knew you when too.
You are willing to spend 5 hours scanning in old photos that you hated of yourself just so you can share them with, well, pretty much everyone in the world. If they involve the prom, childbirth, or a college fraternity party – seek immediate help.
You compete to have the most friends.
The “Wall” no longer makes you think of Pink Floyd.
You laugh when you see that someone has actually typed out the whole word “Facebook” – it’s FB, newbie.
You actually update your status on a regular basis.
You don’t ignore anyone -except, maybe, your parents.
You have your notifications sent to your crackberry.
You know how to kidnap someone, share a christmas elf, give flair, and IM and can do it while eating a piece of Halloween candy. You are good.
You have engaged in a virtual pillow fight and really spent time picking out the pillow you liked best. It’s good to have options but please, please tell me that you do know you aren’t really going to be allowed to sleep on it.
You know how to make a smiley face – an actual smiley face not just a bunch of symbols that kind of, sort of resemble a smiley face.
Communication in your house is accomplished mainly via Facebook’s IM feature – it’s all done within the same house – different computers – but different computers located in the same house. No need to see actual faces – you are a jedi master in the smiley face/emoticon realm. And yes, you can make a ticked off face too. You are a master. Yoda would be very proud – let the face be with you.
You have lost track of night and day. An hour lost here or there is not really a big deal. Trust me on this one. But an entire day – yeah, that’s a problem.
You have friends you have not actually ever met.
You laughed at any of the above. And, please don’t ask me how I know any of this. I am not a scientist but I can play one on Facebook.
Have no fear – there is hope. There is a 12-step program just for you.
When did you first learn you were an addict? Do tell – misery so loves company.